Ode to the Amoeba

You creepy crawly microscopic flagellum waving son of a bitch
You reside somewhere in my gut,
But I’ll seek revenge, be sure of that.
Your nasty ways gave me a bloated belly,
A feeling of my intestines being minced through a meat grinder,
And sessions of intense cramping that lasted 2 moons and a day.
Trips to the loo where the exposed skin, besides my ankles, was the prime target for ravenous mosquitoes…if only those trips could accumulate air miles, I would be flying around the world for at least a month.
And finally a trip to a physician to confirm a tummy full of amoebas, and maybe parasites.


Ahh, yes, the infected gringa, welcome to Colombia
“Don’t drink the tap water, don’t drink juice from the street stalls, don’t eat the food there either, be careful, be careful, be careful,” they all say
I don’t! I haven’t! I wouldn’t, not just yet, and I have been oh-so-careful—I’ve learned this from experience.
So where the hell did you come from?
Where did I pick up my unwanted cargo?
It is still a mystery to me.
But the dose is ready, set, chug it down
Does your one cell feel ripped and torn?
Does it cramp and twist and freeze your cilia?
This is war little ones…And I shall win this battle this time, but I have a feeling that it may not be the last.

RIP you little buggers that have caused me hell for the past 4 days!